Practice is the best form of hope.

Tag: depression

  • Making the beast beautiful

    Making the beast beautiful

    Cover image by Viergacht

    I just finished reading “First, We Make the Beast Beautiful” by Sarah Wilson. It’s the first book I’ve read, maybe ever, in which I was frantically taking notes while reading it. My spouse and I have been struggling with anxiety lately, and this book really got to me. I found the words and exercises very helpful, and I figured I’d share my rather unfocused notes with you. Maybe they’ll spark your interest and you’ll read the book too! I should note that I’m also seeing a therapist to help with my anxiety and depression. I wouldn’t want you to think that reading alone is a viable treatment for anxiety.

    1. Have an imaginary talk with a kid. A kid you like, or even your younger self. Imagine that kid is having a rough time. Comfort them. 
    2. View insomnia as a way to get reacquainted with oneself. Maybe it’s your body’s decision, perhaps unconscious, that thinking will be more productive than sleep. 
    3. Write a “No Wonder” letter to your funny, little anxiety. “No wonder you are feeling this way…”
    4. Just say “I’m anxious” it takes power from the amygdala, the animal part of our brain where anxiety lives.
    5. Make your bed every day. Daily rituals that we complete without exception can quiet the brain.
    6. I should research Vedic meditation 
    7. Have a daily gratitude ritual in which you list things you are thankful for. This can shift perspective. It works!
    8. Does the problem that is making you anxious exist right NOW? Or is it something from the past, or something in the future. Think about the problem in terms of NOW.
    9. Weekend Panic. Learn to back off from weekend expectations. Quell your FOMO by staying inside on a sunny day. You’re not really missing anything.
    10. Flânerie: a wandering walk
    11. Eat more veggies and fruits. 5-9 servings/ day
    12. Eat more fermented stuff.
    13. Check with a nutritionalist to see what supplements would benefit you. 
    14. Research Brené Brown and vulnerability ( Thanks for using WordPress to power your website. )
    15. Shake up routines, try something completely different. Let go. Back the fuck off.
    16. Research Andrew Solomon ( Thanks for using WordPress. )
    17. The knotted ball of yarn. Slowly loosen it. Cannot be done in a day, it takes time.
    18. Find space been breaths. Smile with your eyes. 
    19. Sit in the grime. Develop a tolerance for anxiety.  Get wabi sabi. 
    20. Research Chris Barez-Brown. ( Yay, WordPress! )
    21. Go directly to being cool with the unknown. 
    22. Give up on yourself, on trying to be the perfect being.
    23. Don’t wait until the conditions are perfect. Take action, now, while you at imperfect. 
    24. Explore Sarah’s Website ( Bazinga, WordPress! )

  • To casserole, or not to…

    To casserole, or not to casserole? Always casserole. #depression https://t.co/Z1QUaVQ8PN

  • First Quarter Review

    First Quarter Review

    I’m attempting the WordPress365 challenge. #wp365. That is, I’m trying to write 1 blog post every day for a year.  It’s been 3 months and I thank you for putting up with me, and I apologize for exposing you to my unadulterated vanity. You see, chief among the reasons I’m embarking on this foolish quest is self-improvement. And I do need you to come along for the ride or else there’d truly be no point.

    However, this quest did not start off as a self-improvement mission. Full disclosure: I work for WordPress but I’m not paid to write this blog. I’m a software engineer and I started ItsRoc.co to become more familiar with the product that I’m helping to build.  As I started writing more posts, I found the process pretty enjoyable. I got my first 3 day streak notification, and I’ll admit, I became slightly obsessed. I wanted to make that number higher and higher. 20, 30, 50, and I’m currently at 91!

    I’ll admit that once I hit around 25 days, the obsession wore off, and it became really hard to write posts. I was tempted on more than one day to give up. Writing has been a challenge for me for as long as I can remember, and now that I’m setting aside time every day to write for #wp365, writing is definitely getting easier. And it is exciting! I’m talking nail biting excitement. Even though I’m struggling less, there are many days when the words won’t come and I publish absolute crap at the 11th hour.

    Additionally, writing daily posts that I then share with the world is also easing my social anxiety. Thinking about you fools regularly makes me a better social being. I cannot thank you enough for that. Keep on doing what you’re doing. You are all perfect.

    And I’m certainly having a lot of fun. I’ve come up with a few gimmicks such as #tattuesday and #sketchSunday. They keep me amused and make it easier to keep a streak going.

    Now it’s in the open. Now you know why I’m blogging so much. Cheer me on please, and I’ll see you at the half-year review!

    Stats ( Feb. 25 – May 27 )
    Views: 1360
    Visitors: 557
    Likes: 220
    Comments: 14
    Total Subscribers: 38

    An article about Megan’s prop design was the most popular for this period. It was shared a lot on Facebook! It will be tough to unseat that article as tops.

  • Fear of Growing Old

    Fear of Growing Old

    And when I lean my head against the frosted shower stall
    I see stuff through the glass that I don’t recognize at all

    Obligatory trigger warning. Possible severe tire damage ahead.

    Tonight, I was reading articles on the AV Club and creating some killer playlists, when I suddenly remembered that not only am I mortal, but I’ll likely have to suffer through old age before facing death. Just an other Friday night. Heh. It’s so common there ought to be an emoji for it.

    I’m sitting at the kitchen table yet feel like I’m are drowning underwater. And looking slowly to my left at the happy family photos throughout the years makes me start to choke up even more. You’ve felt it too. Sure you have. It always comes as a surprise, or maybe you’ve grown used to by now. I envy you if you are that strong.

    Then a song called “Till My Head Falls Off” starts playing. It is a song I used to play LOUD when I was a teenager. I never really thought about the lyrics, but listening to them tonight, it occurred to me that the song was about growing old, and stubbornly remaining smart against impossible odds.

    It was nice to have I song that had me dancing as a young man return to save my life on a dark night light years in the future. My fears went dancing away. Please enjoy the song.

  • Wintery Willard Beach

    Wintery Willard Beach

    So I wasn’t able to go skiing this weekend, but fortunately I found a way to shake off the blues.

    Megan and I went to Willard Beach, and though the sun was shining, the wind chill was slightly frigid. Despite the chills we had an excellent time. As you’ll see from the pics below, a beach in Maine is beautiful no matter the season. Don’t wait for summah, bub, go now!

    Our intention was, of course, shameless self-promotion, or SSP as we say in show business. Megan, as you might know, is an actress, and every few months she needs to shed her current batch of headshots, and shoot a new set. We hoped to score some nice 8×10 beauties today, but it was too sunny, breezy, and chilly to set up an outdoor portrait studio. As the saying goes, “We’ll get ’em next time”. At the very least, we were able to go on a brisk walk and breath the salty, Maine air.

    Wintery Willard Beach

    Wintery Willard Beach
    Wintery Willard Beach

    Wintery Willard Beach

    Wintery Willard Beach

    Wintery Willard Beach

  • Move your body

    It has been a tough winter here in the New England, and seasonal depression has been problematic.  I know I need to go skiing, or something. This video is always a sure ticket to make me want to move!